Friday, February 6, 2015
Lying
In class we discussed noble lies as a way to sum up our symposium. One of the scenarios discussed was whether or not one should confess to their fiancé on the night before the wedding of an affair that took place several years ago. Looking back at some of Aristotle's views, one in particular that seemed to help explain what to do in this scenario was reason. He states that the function of the human is reason because it is what makes a human unique from any other thing. Since we as human beings are capable of reason we are therefore capable of acting according to principles and also knowing what is right and what is wrong. With that in mind, it should allow us to understand that the right thing to do in this situation should then be able to take full responsibilities for our own choices and actions. It does not go without saying that the other person involved may be hurt by the news. However, I do feel that it is better to be told by the person that you care about rather than finding out by some other means. It would probably hurt a lot more. An argument can be made that there is high possibility that the affair may never be found out but I think getting it off your chest before taking the giant leap of faith in marrying this person is better than being married to them with a guilty conscience that may later affect their marriage. So in my opinion I feel that one should be forthright and honest and accept the consequences of their actions.
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I do agree Nadia, that it would really be hard to keep this information from your future spouse, especially when specifically asked. I can't say that it is the best to tell the truth because it is going to hurt their feelings. I'm just not sure I could lie about it if specifically asked. So, while it would hurt them terribly, I think I would have to tell them the truth and accept the consequences. I think I would want to be told in this case and then left to make up my mind as to whether or not I would want to marry that person.
ReplyDeleteI agree 100% with you that one should tell their spouse before marrying them whether or not they cheated several years ago. If the person who cheated had a guilty conscience then it would be ideal for them to confess. But I will say that everyone's ability to reason varies. Someone could reason that it would be best not to tell their spouse they cheated for fear that it would hurt them. Some could reason that they should tell the truth and nothing but the truth. I think each situation and each relationship differ. For an extreme example, if I knew my spouse had the sort of mind to reason to suicide if finding out this sort of information I would never tell my spouse for fear they could take their life. In another example if I knew that I needed to get something like this off my chest or else I could never marry this person for fear of a life of guilt, I would reveal the truth. I think the situation just varies with different people and their abilities to reason differently.
ReplyDeleteI understand where you're coming from however I do not agree. I agree with the concept, I just do not agree with the situation used and the decision made. Yes people should understand right and wrong however they are not a married couple yet. The smart thing to do would be to not mention it the day before the weeding because they could cause the wedding to never happen. If that person never plans to have another affair, what happened in the past before marriage should stay in the past. As for your conscience being cleared, wait years down the road of a very faithful marriage and then discuss what you did before.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't have said it any better. I agree with Aristotle's method and believe that yes, you should tell the truth. A marriage founded on love but being held together with columns of lies will collapse. A married based on love and held through honesty will triumph. Although the decision might be hard at the moment, truly loving the person should alone be more than enough reason to actually reveal the occult. Realizing that the person you're marrying loves you just as much if not more than you do her. Realizing that yes it might not be too good, and it could have consequences, but it could also be what causes her to trust you to the fullest. Explaining that yes, it happened, but it was years ago and with someone unknown. Taking full responsibility for your actions, and that person who loves you, will forgive you not because you deserve it, but because she loves you and extends her grace and mercy with you.
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