Stoicism, loss, and getting over it.

Growing up my mom has always told me that I didn't have to act so stoic all the time. While my dad constantly would tell me, it is what it is. While reading and discussing Epictetus in class I felt like I could relate to him in many instances. For instance when he says in passage 8, “ Do not seek to have events happen as you want them to, but instead want them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go well” (56). 

Always wanting what you can’t have at the moment is a hard way to live. I try and enjoy what is going on around me now and go with the flow. Although I will say being a senior college student does not help me to live by this passage. I am constantly anxious about the future. But I usually tell people that I am just going to wing it and do the best I can. It is what it is. Studying the stoics helped me to get a better idea what the word stoicism means. I had always viewed it as a compliment. When my mom told me I was being stoic I always interpreted that as meaning strong and less whiny. 

After going over the material in class I realize that it could be viewed as somewhat unfeeling and uncaring. Basically to a stoic, pleasure just means not experiencing pain or suffering. Having experienced the loss of my father I recently, I remember having to take both of my parents’ advice. I let myself not be stoic for a moment. I let out as many emotions as I could and then I said to myself, it is what it is. I know logically that people don’t live forever and that the last thing that my father would want would be for me to be upset. But I was. I did not view his death as a broken glass or vase. 

Although I think that would have been his explanation to me. Life is temporary but I believe that having a completely irrational deep connection to someone is worth the suffering. Which I guess means I am not really a stoic after all. I might not get upset about break ups as much as the next person. I also tend to take criticism well. I live by the notion that what other people think of me is none of my business. So I would say I am a human being with stoic tendencies. I would prefer not to suffer but I would rather be allowed to feel deeply even if that means getting hurt.       

Guignon, Charles B. "Epictetus, Encheiridion, or the Handbook." The Good Life. Indianapolis, Ind.: Hackett Pub., 1999. 56. Print.